Thursday, 4 August 2016

Becoming a Reiki Master I

I have to say, since the first Reiki class and 'atunement' I have felt different. I was completely expecting adverse effects: I couldn't really tell you why but possibly because in the back of my mind I wonder if I'm really ready for something like this. Also, I've had this un/healthy skepticism about the whole thing and the class itself. Surely at some point someone is going to come up to me and break the bad news that the whole thing was just some kind of joke; Karen is not actually a teacher; it's a scam and that I've been ripped off yet again. Read: I'm very cautious these days and that skepticism that I was just talking about earlier can sometimes verge on neurosis & paranoia.

Even when I was having the atunement done in the class, I completely expected nothing to happen or something not nice to happen; I'll feel sick and have a need to vomit; my bodily aches & pains will get worse; I'll experience an anxiety attack that feels like panic. So imagine my surprise when the only thing I experienced was complete relaxation and a lovely spiritual voice speaking to me which said, "It's time to open up and trust again Linda - open your heart."

I'm so calm and the serenity I feel has not been experienced before. I do indeed feel as if the "dross" has just completely fallen away from me. I was listening to my daughter read this morning and I was sitting with my hands interlinked together. There was something there which I can't explain: it wasn't just an super awareness of my hands and my fingers being interlocked, it was as though they were charged, although with what I can not tell you.

Today when I was listening to my daughter talk I had this sensation of being able to see the deeper back story that she was keeping under wraps, there was an undertow to the story that maybe even she was not  aware of. Normally when I listen to people I'm either thinking of what to say next to keep the conversation going or I'm fading out and wondering how much longer I have to keep the pretense up of listening (a little self absorbed you might say). But this was different, her soul was speaking to my intuition and I knew what to say, for a change. I sensed the deeper meaning of her sentences - the psychology of who she is what she is, which was very awesome and also a little scary.

During the week I was reading an article about a pedophile and while the thought of that would normally make me feel repulsed - how do these people's minds even work anyway - I was able to actually see into the mind and experience the harrowing loneliness and desolation of one with such a mental illness. I guess if I'm going into the healing industry I have to be prepared to come up against all kinds as all kinds need healing and the thought of that doesn't make me baulk as it would have in the past.

During the week I was driving along doing what I normally do: ferrying children around or driving to work and back when it occurred to me that my life is exactly where I want it to be; I am finally at peace and do I dare to say it - I am happy! I say that with some trepidation and am waiting to be struck down by lightening any second now. But here I am, a week later and I'm still happy and nothing has happened to take that away from me. Of course, there are the usual irritations; my telephone company gives me grief weekly; there are internet trolls that have caused a lot of anguish for me over the years; my relationships feel as if they are being tested almost constantly but I can honestly say I am able to deal with it all now - this thing we call life - from a much more serene state of mind. I haven't been able to say that for a long, long time, certainly not this decade.

Today, 4th August '16 was my second Reiki class. My teacher was interested to hear everything I had to say that had been happening during the week and she advised me to keep a journal  ie: this blog post :) During this Reiki atunement I experienced a profound fluttering around my heart chakra and then Spirit/my higher self said, "this is the start of your wonderful new life," and I knew it to be the truth. It felt very healing. When I sat back in my own chair my mind attempted to go straight back to the place that it always does: why did such and such happen? Who said what to whom and why do I feel so guilty about that? Is it all my fault? And on and on it goes - a constant barrage of self-sabotaging self talk that never actually achieves anything. But this time there was simply a stillness, a calmness and the words formulating inside of me; IT IS WHAT IT IS, over and over again until I actually started to believe. It really is what it is and no amount of endless analysis from me, nothing I say or do will change that fact and now it's time to let all of that self-defeating mumbo jumbo slip away into the ether with all of the other dross that has fallen from me. I thank thee :)

Afterwards, when we were all sitting and quietly discussing our experiences before going home, one of the girls said she had noticed I had purple in my aura. It's been many years since I was trained to see auras and I'd forgotten what that meant. This is what I learnt about myself:

"Purple, violet or lavender in the aura is such a lovely sight to see. In most cases, the person is connecting with the spiritual realms and building on their intuition and spiritual connection and it is one of the highest levels of auric vibrations in the human aura. It is rare to see a person with a primary indigo, violet or purple aura. When you do, the person is usually a visionary with a deep sense of service to humanity. More often, one generally sees flashes of violet and purple in the aura, which constitute a flow of energy when the person is doing psychic work or in a deep spiritual state of ecstasy and connection with the divine."

Now it's all starting to make sense: how else do you explain my ability to give up sex!! :)

No comments:

Post a Comment

There's a memory tucked inside of me

Inside of me so deep, Burnt into my retina, When awake & when asleep. It's like a bad smell, That just won't go, It rattle...