Sunday, 20 November 2016

I stepped back and accidentally landed on his toes...

...and then found myself catapulted into a memory:

I had stepped back and he was there to catch me,
He took it as an advance,
A kind of flirting,
He was exactly the same sort of man too;
Handsome, worldy, gifted with words,
Charming and in the end, sleazy - a womaniser,
But I was too young & naive to know better,
Fast forward ten years,
And he STILL hadn't left his wife,
"Surely one day he'll come for me,"
I deluded myself, gazing out of the window,
Because that's what Knight's in Shining Armour do, right?
Ten years of waiting, hoping, dreaming, planning.

But here I am, now,
In this moment, in the SAME situation,
With the same kind of man;
"You know, it's good for a married man,
To have a girlfriend,
I've been there & done that."
He tells me, with a laugh,
As if I would EVER fall for that again,
And I turn around and walk away,
Without saying a word,
But inside I'm screaming,
"YOU'RE EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG,
WITH THIS WORLD, YOU MAKE IT BAD FOR
ALL OF THE OTHER MEN,YOU MORON
WHY DON'T YOU STAY SINGLE!!?"

"It looks like you still have some anger there,
Linda" the Therapist states
Looking a little concerned,
"Oh really, do you think?
What gave it away?" I hiss,
And I unfurl white knuckled fingers,
And glance around at all of the,
F & C words lying empty,
And lifeless on the office floor,
I take my sleeve,
And wipe the spittle from my mouth,
I try to re-focus my eyes,
And bring myself back,
To the here & now but...

With all of my witches might,
I curse thee,
For now I am old.


Written 30th July, '16

©LMM



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