Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Such happy news

Weather: there are only two more weeks left of summer so we are starting to get the Autumn chilly nights and lower temperatures during the day.

What I'm wearing today: how is that even relevant?

Mood: elated

Sex Life: oh dear, how can I explain? I came so close to breaking my vow!

Mission for today: finish last assignment for Uni for this study period so I can take a break for two weeks :))

Latest favourite words: Um... as soon as I get my new study set up I will find the list

My advice for today: If you want to help the world, be a person who doesn't need help.

The last time I used painkillers: a long time ago!

Weight & health: weight is still up and down but I'm able to maintain it to a point as long as I don't venture outside my set eating plan which is really boring. My daughter is tempting me to go vegan and cooks delicious food which helps with weight and I also find my health is improving.


It really is the most excellent news. But first, this is a diary so what better place to talk about all of the changes taking place lately. I'm not saying this with even a molecule of melancholy as life truly does keep getting better and better and my mood improves along with it but it really is true that the only thing that I know for sure about life is that change is inevitable. And sometimes, for whatever reason, those changes come upon you in quick and shocking succession and leave you gulping for breath and holding your side so that a stitch doesn't set in. The movie that I got the idea from for the format for this diary, Any Human Heart talks a lot about good luck and bad luck and I'm starting to think there is something to it. Forget about God and the Alien race that are trying to take over the world. Forget about the way the planets were lined up when you were born and know this: if you have a run of good luck you can be damn sure there is a run of bad luck hopping along just behind it, just outside of your peripheral vision that is about to bite you on the butt! I'm sorry, I know we don't want to believe it but it's true. We want to believe we are all in control and have everything sorted but the truth is that at any given moment things can spiral out of control no matter how hard you've worked at your job/raising your children/practicing safe sex/looking after your health/keeping your marriage together/being a good friend/building a nest egg etc. and ... no-one gets out alive! So it makes good sense that change is a given all of the time.

A diary requires honesty and that's exactly what I plan to do. My life has changed so much over the past few months that I hardly know where to begin. Top of the list - the thing that has brought me so much pleasure - my teen son moved back in with me after 30 months of being out of home. Probably more than anything he just got sick of my constant whining about how much I miss him and hearing how much I wish I had my family back together and decided to give into me :) So I now live in this lovely new larger home and he has his own quarters at the back part of the house and can come and go as he pleases. Oddly enough, this house came up for rent right as I was given notice to vacate the last house and is exactly across the road from where I lived with my daughter for 18 months. Lady Luck was on my side! It's handy to the train station as Isabella still has to train to ballet and acting class four times a week. Once my baby is licensed (37 months) I can move back out to a more rural area which is what I'm used to and maybe have a few chooks and goats and grow some vegies - my lifelong dream is to live off grid.

Lovelife: nothing to report. Okay, I'm lying, everything to report but nothing that turned into anything. Let's just say summer brought some interesting new flavours but celibacy, once established, is a difficult state of mind to give up unless - well, to be honest I don't know what would help me to change my mind but put it this way, when men proposition me I either run or literally have no idea what they are referring to until I'm in the future from the situation and reflecting with hindsight. Does that make sense? Anyway, how do people do it? I just don't know! To be honest, I'm not sure I can ever be that person again as I don't have the time and don't really miss it. It all seems a bit silly now that I even invested 35 years into sex - apart from the conception of my children - what was it all about? And I'm not going to talk about my continual bad luck in the love department because that's just depressing!

University life is just splendid. I won't start by talking about my 'distinctions' because no-one would believe that the girl who has trouble remembering when to pay bills and is away with the pixies most of the time could possibly get marks that rank so high. I put it down to luck and also the fact that writing is my passion and I am studying it so it never seems like hard work and apart from the fact that there are certain formulas to follow for every style/genre of writing that require some learning, google really does do the rest. Next term I'm studying another Professional Writing and then Journalism. I really do plan on travelling the world as a working journalist which has also always been a dream of mine. I will major in both streams. But right now, I just need to tweak my last assignment - my exegesis - and I'm on holidays for two whole weeks. Yay!

BIG NEWS: There's going to be another wedding in the family. My son Thomas just announced his engagement to lovely Melissa in a very well planned and executed and very romantic weekend away in the mountains. It's all very exciting - who doesn't love a wedding :)

The past six months or so I've been trying to leave the house more and join groups which is difficult for me as my hermit tendancies keep me at home and it can sometimes feel as if the walls are closing in. In spite of my reticence and conviction that I am unable to maintain good and solid relationships outside of family and close friends, I have actually made new friends and am continually impressed with the brilliance of the other writers at Writer's group and helped and comforted by my Reiki Master and other pupils at Psychic class. I feel so blessed that I have been able to locate, right around my local area, two new places to go to meet other people like me. It certainly makes a change to only being with people on the internet. Eye contact face to face is what creates depth and real intimacy.

I have hardly written any poetry lately and am feeling a little baffled by it. I think it could be because all of my writing energy is going into my assignment writing. It's usually winter that I get the urge to hole up and start writing creatively again.


This weekend I am taking the entire family away to the coast as my combined birthday and Christmas gift to them and to celebrate the engagement and my daughter Madeline's 21st. Let’s see what Lady Luck has to say about whether it will be a good weekend or not. Please stay tuned for photos :)

Love & blessings to you and yours,

LMMalcolm



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